I have been the mother of two for 8 full days now and I'm going nuts. How do you discipline a two year old and breast feed an infant at the same time? Why has modern technology made our lives more fast paced and crazy, instead of slowing us down and helping us relax? Mabye it has always been like this and I'm just now feeling it because it's my turn. Some days, I'm nuts and some I'm just feeling down and low and tired. Coffee is the only thing that gets me going and all this time, I have had my mother here. I have not done a stitch of laundry. She has cooked all the meals and cleaned the kitchen. "What else is there to do?" you ask.
I feed the baby. I change the baby. I sooth the baby. I let Abby hold the baby. I pump and then it is time to start all over again. Infants are 24 hour jobs. It is literally like that all the time: day and night. I get no sleep and when the baby is napping, Abby is not and I'm dealing with, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." I love it but it's wearing me out especially because my iron is so low and I don't know how long it will take to build back up the blood that I lost.
A couple of nights ago, right when my boobs were about to explode from being filled up all day, my pump died. I cried. I broke down and cried. I'm tired, I'm stressed and then my boobs were hurting and there was no relief in sight. Don't think I didn't consider every option... yes, I considered exactly what you are thinking! But... my friend had a nice pump that she wasn't using and the next day I broke every speed record getting out there to pick it up. Thank goodness for good friends who let you borrow their stuff. Thank goodness for mother's who keep your house from looking like a bomb went off in it. Thank goodness for husbands who don't freak out when you cry and cry and cry and cry...
Oh Callie! Hang in there! You're in my prayers. When I was sick and throwing up earlier this week I remembered just how much I don't want to be pregnant and sick again and thought how funny it is that you forget how hard it is until you do it again.
ReplyDeleteI think it must be like that with having a newborn. You're tired from loss of blood and hurting "down there" and you can't pee or have a regular bowel movement if your life depended on it. Your boobs are killing you and you're too tired to take care of your house or even fix yourself something to eat!
But it's also wonderful to hold the tiny baby feet or feel the incredible smallness against your chest when you hold your baby.
The craziness of new mommyhood will calm down and you'll feel like you've got a better handle on it.
Take courage!