An irreverent look at motherhood and family life in a new state of normal.

Friday, October 30, 2009

On Costumes and Disney Taking Over the World

When I was a kid, my mother always made our costumes and they were always animals. I remember going to my cousins house and she had a real, store bought Tinker Bell costume with wings and everything. She let me try it on and play in it and it was the best moment of my life as I was sure that I could fly with those gossamer wings.

This year, for Abby, we decided to go to Walmart (which happens to be the most awful place on earth) to shop for costumes. Now a little disclaimer: We do not want to promote Halloween to our children. We believe it is a holiday that sets kids up to glorify all that is horrible in the world. We also don't want them to think that messing with things that have anything to do with witchcraft or the devil is ever to be taken lightly. However, Abby has amazing hair that just begs for a tiara and I have been looking for a good excuse to dress her up like a princess. Therefore, we went into the day-before-Halloween fray in Walmart. It was messy!

It was to scary to walk down the costume aisle with our 1.5 year old daughter staring and saying, "Ohhhhh, whats that?!" at every monster and zombie. Besides, there were people tearing costumes off the shelves, putting them on as though we were in a huge, Walmart sized dressing room and then tossing them to the floor with reckless abandon. The aisles dedicated to Halloween were clearly to crowded with fear and families for us to even attempt to get in there. We opted for the toy section which just confirmed my suspicions that Disney is taking over the world.

On a related note, I discovered after a few hours of shopping the other day that finding shoes (especially slippers) in Abby's size that don't have a Disney princess on them is almost impossible.

We hunted through the aisle and realized that Disney has taken a safe way out of any lawsuit and prints on every product "for 3+ only." As though anyone listens to that... pshhhh. So we finally find a costume that looks perfect. We decide that princess shoes, although fun, are way to expensive (They only come in packs of 4 pairs. Are you kidding?!) and impractical for wearing outside of the house (as though a ball gown and crown weren't impractical.) We buy said dress and a crown and squeeze out of the store. The dress is way to big for Abby and will need some taking in but we intend to wear it to the Fall Festival and then use it as a play dress FOREVER as it cost us $30. Abby is in love with the crown and is at this moment wearing only a diaper and that crown and bowing to everyone with a huge grin on her face. Totally worth it.


Yesterday was the crappiest day ever. Someone treated my husband badly and that makes me angry. I get very defensive of the man I believe to be the most perfect human on earth besides, of course, my child. Disclaimer: When he does things that get him in trouble, I usually just give him a look and walk away. But this time, he didn't do anything and I was feeling the righteous indignation any wife feels on behalf of her lover.

Anyway, I called my mom to unload about the injustice of the world and was going to ease into my tirade with a nice, "How are you?" when I got an earful about the fact that her house had just been burgled. Yes, her family heirloom silver has been taken along with most of the valuable electronics and all the DVD's, CDs and my father's iPod (which I'm not sure was much of a loss as he never really figured out how to use it and his fingers were never the agile, texting tools that most of us have today.)

So I'm listening to her tell me that the police are still at the house and both my parents are in California so it is my sister who is having to take care of all of this when I realize, I haven't told her about what a horrible place the world is for treating my husband like he did them wrong.

"OK, Mom. YOU WIN!!!" I'm over it all.

But what really made me feel better was when I walked back into the house after only leaving 45 minutes before and was greeted by my toddler as though it had been years. She always does this and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Today we begin the real battle of the ladybugs. There is a season here, mainly when it is cold and then warm all in one day (fall), when the ladybugs invade our house. They are in the window boxes, the ceiling, the furniture and dive bombing Abby and I at every turn. The veins on my neck stick out whenever I'm in the living room watching them fly overhead. You may say, "Callie, call the exterminator." Then you don't live here or anywhere there is this particular infestation. These bugs are CRAZY like a termite. You can vacuum them but they just fly out of your vacuum. You can have them sprayed but it does no good. I have started my vacuum battle. I suck them up, run outside with the vacuum, let them all loose and dash back in. No good. They are at the door before me and I carry a load in on my pants, shirt and hair. They are everywhere. The only real solution I have discovered is to freeze them out. They want to be in the heat so when the house warms up with the sun, they come out and start their air attack. I think I might just turn on the air conditioning, get them all in a bunch to get warm, and then suck them up and BURN THEM!!! AHAHHHHAHAHAH!!!!!!! I know, I'm getting nuts. I can't help it.


Abby wacked her head on the coffee table. Picture this. She's sitting in a dinning chair and goes to slide off only to misjudge the distance to the floor allowing her feet to go under the chair instead of onto the floor and sending her into a front layout ending with her head hitting the table at a high rate of speed. Yes, it was a "Hup! (quick breathy intake)" moment. I actually waited a split second to see what her reaction would be but from her facial expression, I knew the screaming was just being delayed by the fact that she wasn't breathing. I got her in my arms before the wailing began. Huge goose egg...

Today, I decided it was so nice, we had to be outside. Put her in the hammock for a second and let go. Yes, I'm stupid. She tried to get out, flipped around like hammocks do and ended up on the ground, screaming, lip split and goose egg smarting from a blow to the exact same spot...

Abby likes to follow me into any room I go into and the bathroom is no exception. When I decided this evening that it was time for a little privacy, I told her to go out and she turned without looking and hit the goose egg, yet again, on the door post. Let the crying commence. Yes, I can comfort a toddler while using the restroom...

Anyone think she's going to have brain damage?

Tonight, when she got into the halloween candy and ate several Tootsey Rolls, I said nothing. My penance.