I am home with Cate. It is interesting to see how it all is going. I'm so weak from losing so much blood and tired from breast feeding at all hours. But seeing Abby with Cate makes it all worth it. Actually, when I got here, I felt this overwhelming need to spend time with Abby. After being with Cate for two days and not seeing Abby at all, I was really worried about Abby and how she was going to be when I got home. I fed Cate and handed her off to my mom to burp and comfort while I played with Abby as much as I was able. Problem: I am getting light headed and nauseous. It's hard not to panic everytime I feel weird after having a near death experience.
I am going to say something I never thought I would: I really had a good experience with this birth. I got to see the baby come out and I didn't think I would want to but I went ahead and got the mirror thinking that I just wouldn't look if I got to wierded out. I closed my eyes at the end because I was pushing and kinda freaking out but I actually saw the crowning and all that and I could feel her coming out. It was painful but kinda... awesome. I mean, I really never thought I would say that but the actual pushing the baby out part was crazy cool. I felt so accomplished.
I'm so much more tired than I thought I would be. I think I'm going to take a couple of days to not see very many people and just sleep and rest and stuff although its hard. I feel like if I'm in bed, I'm missing out on something out in the world. Crazy right? I'm like a 5 year old. Cate is amazing. Abby is amazing and I wish I could just give over my time to both of them.