Well, dang you Weight Watchers! I went to Olive Garden last night and blew it all out of the water. Kinda sucks to be on a date and know that you are going to eat and eat and eat and... maybe you just didn't care then - until you looked at your points for the day and realize that you ate double what you were supposed too for the DAY!
Yes, the WHOLE DAY!!!
So today I walked for an entire hour and I'm considering going out for another hour tonight just to walk off the guilt.
It's hard to stay on a diet when your husband wants to help out some cute kid from the school and buys truffles - for his dieting wife of course. These aren't ordinary truffles. They are made from scratch, bigger than your head truffles that call my name every time I go into the kitchen. Then there is the cheese that I bought before I paid for my WW subscription. There is my husband who can eat whatever he wants and burns it off at the "office." I'm also up in the middle of the night feeding the baby and wondering what I could troll the kitchen and find for myself. Then there are all the other things you have to say no too and it's just hard. I want to lose this weight but until Jillian Michaels gets here to kick my butt, I'm going to struggle every day not to eat and eat and eat.
So, in addition to paying for what is essentially an elaborate online food journal, I am going to post my weight, at the risk of scaring readers everywhere, on this blog every week.
I was 198 when I delivered Cate.
Sunday, my weigh in day this week, I was 183.
There. That ought to keep me accountable.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Back at the Dr.
So I don't know about you guys but I have no money to hit up the Dr. every time I have an issue. Most of the issues can wait anyway so I go in with a laundry list of things that need to be taken care of. Today, I went in with that exact thing and I think I hit the rush hour because I waited for and hour and 15 minutes and then forgot my birth control and had to turn around and come back to the office and wait again just to get a shot in the butt.
We are hard core on the potty training again. Poop clean up this morning put me over the edge, however and I put Abby back in the diaper by noon. Then after I returned from the doctor, we were playing and she got a little rough. I told her to cool it (in baby language, "Be GENTLE!") and after several warnings, she was still at it and the baby was right there so I put her in time out where she cried loudly, causing the baby to scream and wail. I decided I didn't need to be subjected to that and put Abby in BED for a while. She calmed down after about 20 minutes of whining. I need another pack and play to put her in when she's bad because her bed is way to fun for her. She jumps on it, brings all her toys into it and is generally the Princess and the Pea in there. Ideas?
We are hard core on the potty training again. Poop clean up this morning put me over the edge, however and I put Abby back in the diaper by noon. Then after I returned from the doctor, we were playing and she got a little rough. I told her to cool it (in baby language, "Be GENTLE!") and after several warnings, she was still at it and the baby was right there so I put her in time out where she cried loudly, causing the baby to scream and wail. I decided I didn't need to be subjected to that and put Abby in BED for a while. She calmed down after about 20 minutes of whining. I need another pack and play to put her in when she's bad because her bed is way to fun for her. She jumps on it, brings all her toys into it and is generally the Princess and the Pea in there. Ideas?
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Donuts and Other Random Stuff
So I tried the donut recipe posted below. It was lots of fun if you think staying up late to make dough, getting up early to roll and raise said dough, and then frying donuts after an hour of raising is fun. Anyway, they were a bust. I didn't raise them right so they totally did not become the productive members of society I had hoped. Then when I went to fry them, I didn't get the oil hot enough and they became rather hard and calloused on the outside and not exactly soft or fluffy on the inside either. Therefore, my commentary on donuts (and child rearing) is: raise them in a warm environment covered in a soft towel and make sure when you through them into the frying pan that the oil is hot enough to get them fried and back out again quickly. I will be giving it another try tonight and tomorrow morning.
In other news, we all made it to church this morning although it was an effort. There was no potluck today so Martha brought us lunch at our house. AWESOME! Let me tell you, being taken care of by the church members is the best.
I always wanted to be that person that brought the awesome dish to potluck. You know the one, that dish of cheesy type goodness that just made everyone drool and it was always gone by the time you got that far in line. The one that everyone was raving about and made someone in the fellowship hall stand up and say, "Hallelujah! Who made that?" I have those recipes. I can be that person. But I'm also a mother and in order to be that person, I'd have to take my kids to SS naked and I would be a total shambles myself (not that I'm not already that way half the time.) Do you know what it's like here with an infant and a toddler and a husband AND a dog that won't stop barking on a Sabbath morning? It's like WW III!!! Someone is in the shower for two hours and I am always last. After braiding Abby's hair, getting her in a dress, washing out the babies neck folds and making sure everyone is in fresh diapers and has offering in their purses, Andy and I vie for the bathroom. We are dashing out the door as he tightens his tie and I slip on my shoes. There are blankets and bags everywhere and we are almost always about 10 minutes late. I hate being late.
So here's to hoping we get it together enough for Mommy to make one of those yummy, gooey, cheesy dishes once again soon. Until then, Martha, you are the best. Keep it coming.
In other news, we all made it to church this morning although it was an effort. There was no potluck today so Martha brought us lunch at our house. AWESOME! Let me tell you, being taken care of by the church members is the best.
I always wanted to be that person that brought the awesome dish to potluck. You know the one, that dish of cheesy type goodness that just made everyone drool and it was always gone by the time you got that far in line. The one that everyone was raving about and made someone in the fellowship hall stand up and say, "Hallelujah! Who made that?" I have those recipes. I can be that person. But I'm also a mother and in order to be that person, I'd have to take my kids to SS naked and I would be a total shambles myself (not that I'm not already that way half the time.) Do you know what it's like here with an infant and a toddler and a husband AND a dog that won't stop barking on a Sabbath morning? It's like WW III!!! Someone is in the shower for two hours and I am always last. After braiding Abby's hair, getting her in a dress, washing out the babies neck folds and making sure everyone is in fresh diapers and has offering in their purses, Andy and I vie for the bathroom. We are dashing out the door as he tightens his tie and I slip on my shoes. There are blankets and bags everywhere and we are almost always about 10 minutes late. I hate being late.
So here's to hoping we get it together enough for Mommy to make one of those yummy, gooey, cheesy dishes once again soon. Until then, Martha, you are the best. Keep it coming.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Me and the Porn Star Mom
I was watching a documentary the other day and there was a porn star on who had been married to some crazy rocker. They had a baby together. Cate is only three weeks old so I'm still a little hormonal but even two years after Abby's birth, I have felt a special connection with other mothers.
The porn stars daughter died at 4 years old from cancer. I cried. Yep... I sat there and cried on behalf of the porn star mom. I felt that pull of sisterhood and cried for her. At that moment, she wasn't a porn star, she was a mother and I was a mother and we were on the same level. I wasn't better than her and she wasn't better than me. We were both sad over the loss of human life and although I have never lost a living child, I have felt loss and I felt it for her.
Should that be how the family of God is? Shouldn't we always feel the pull of humanity? Shouldn't we all be on the same level, loving one another and sharing in experiences? I hope it's always like that. I hope I can see it that way. We have all had an experience, the same experience to an extent. Can we all feel that for each other? Can we all feel the pull of being saved and the loss of human/divine life that it took to save us?
The porn stars daughter died at 4 years old from cancer. I cried. Yep... I sat there and cried on behalf of the porn star mom. I felt that pull of sisterhood and cried for her. At that moment, she wasn't a porn star, she was a mother and I was a mother and we were on the same level. I wasn't better than her and she wasn't better than me. We were both sad over the loss of human life and although I have never lost a living child, I have felt loss and I felt it for her.
Should that be how the family of God is? Shouldn't we always feel the pull of humanity? Shouldn't we all be on the same level, loving one another and sharing in experiences? I hope it's always like that. I hope I can see it that way. We have all had an experience, the same experience to an extent. Can we all feel that for each other? Can we all feel the pull of being saved and the loss of human/divine life that it took to save us?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Little Breakdown
Finally had a little break down. After several nights that mimicked my last post, I had what felt like an asthma attack. I'm not sure what it was all about but I had been having issues the day before with the aftermath of pregnancy so I am going to assume it had to do with that. I went ahead and asked my husband if he would be ok with staying and helping me this morning and he obliged. I'm feeling better this afternoon. Thank goodness afternoons are easy. Abby down for a nap, baby in a good sleeping pattern, sun out and Daddy coming home at 3 or 3:30. I think I can handle the afternoon. So much for getting in a schedule though. Anyone else have issues pop up 3 weeks after giving birth? Comment about it. We all need to share so I don't feel like such a hypochondriac moron sicko....
Monday, March 22, 2010
Diary of a Wicked Tired Mommy
10:54 - Last feeding before bed. Mommy is tired and Cate looks like she's nodding off. Abby already asleep.
10:56 - Mommy in bed. Cate decides to wake up and cry for no apparent reason. No prob. We will just rock for a few minutes and get sleepy again.
11:15 - Cate finally asleep again. Mommy needs to read for a few minutes to get sleepy again.
11:25 - Mommy falls asleep with a copy of The Maltese Falcon in her hand.
11:39 - Mommy is awoken by her baby making noises like she's hungry... again.
11:45 - Baby falls asleep while snacking. What do I look like? A 7/11?!
11:47 - Mommy back asleep.
12:30 - Baby wakes up and needs to be changed. Then she wants to eat... again. Catey! You are killing me!!! She falls asleep eating, needs to be burped and pukes all over Mommy. Daddy finally comes in and falls to sleep faster than a speeding bullet.
1:39 - Cate wakes up and needs a diaper change again. Mommy starts to feed her and realizes she needs to pee. Mommy gets distracted from the feeding by her full bladder and milk goes everywhere. Now Mommy is covered in puke and milk and her side of the bed is getting soggy.
1:47 - Cate is back asleep after yet another snack and Mommy can head out to the bathroom. In the two feet from her door to the bathroom door, Mommy hears a crying Abby. She is screaming something about poop. Mommy wearily gets the two year old out of her room, changes her diaper and puts her back in bed. Abby is now wailing. She wants to rock in the rocking chair. Mommy says there will be no rocking and that Abby needs to go to sleep. Abby cries out for Mommy to sing a song. Several songs later, Mommy insists that Abby go to sleep and leaves the room hoping to get to the bathroom.
2:10 - Mommy finally gets to the bathroom, and realizes this is the first time she's been there since 1 o'clock that afternoon. No wonder she feels like she's going to explode. She has 3 cups of decaf and a cup of regular, two glasses of orange juice, three brownies, and half a lasagna in there. No one tells you about the cravings when you are breast feeding.
2:39 - Cate wakes up and needs to be fed and changed... again. So the 7/11 wakes up and does her thing. Both Cate and Mommy fall asleep while feeding.
2:50 - Mommy jolts awake afraid she has rolled onto her sleeping child and killed her. No... Daddy has moved the baby and mommy is crushing a pillow.
3:52 - Cate wakes up and needs to be fed. Mommy feeds her and is on the verge of blessed sleep when she hears the sounds of poop coming. Checking Cate's face, indeed, she is showing her pooping face. Mommy wakes Daddy and tells him to burp and change the baby. Daddy looks bleary eyed, tries to burp the kid for 30 sec, and with no sound forthcoming, he gives up, lays her down and goes back to sleep. Mommy wakes Daddy up again and insists he try a little harder as Cate will just wake up and puke all over her if she doesn't get a proper burp out. Daddy tries again. Mommy doesn't know if he is successful as she falls asleep.
4:43 - Mommy is awakened by a hungry Cate. Mommy is to tired to take proper precautions and is once again soaked with milk. Cate falls asleep and Mommy tries to get a wink in even though she is dripping wet.
5:52 - More feeding, more puking, more dripping. We may need a new mattress after tonight.
6:55 - Daddy is up. Mommy is feeding the kid again.
8:30 - Daddy asks if Mommy needs help today. Mommy insists she is fine. Just bring me a giant cup of coffee and I'll be fine. Send in Abby but make sure she has the ipod with Milo and Otis. We may not survive the morning... Baths all around. Mommy gets up and discovers that Abby has peed out her sheets. Great...
10:56 - Mommy in bed. Cate decides to wake up and cry for no apparent reason. No prob. We will just rock for a few minutes and get sleepy again.
11:15 - Cate finally asleep again. Mommy needs to read for a few minutes to get sleepy again.
11:25 - Mommy falls asleep with a copy of The Maltese Falcon in her hand.
11:39 - Mommy is awoken by her baby making noises like she's hungry... again.
11:45 - Baby falls asleep while snacking. What do I look like? A 7/11?!
11:47 - Mommy back asleep.
12:30 - Baby wakes up and needs to be changed. Then she wants to eat... again. Catey! You are killing me!!! She falls asleep eating, needs to be burped and pukes all over Mommy. Daddy finally comes in and falls to sleep faster than a speeding bullet.
1:39 - Cate wakes up and needs a diaper change again. Mommy starts to feed her and realizes she needs to pee. Mommy gets distracted from the feeding by her full bladder and milk goes everywhere. Now Mommy is covered in puke and milk and her side of the bed is getting soggy.
1:47 - Cate is back asleep after yet another snack and Mommy can head out to the bathroom. In the two feet from her door to the bathroom door, Mommy hears a crying Abby. She is screaming something about poop. Mommy wearily gets the two year old out of her room, changes her diaper and puts her back in bed. Abby is now wailing. She wants to rock in the rocking chair. Mommy says there will be no rocking and that Abby needs to go to sleep. Abby cries out for Mommy to sing a song. Several songs later, Mommy insists that Abby go to sleep and leaves the room hoping to get to the bathroom.
2:10 - Mommy finally gets to the bathroom, and realizes this is the first time she's been there since 1 o'clock that afternoon. No wonder she feels like she's going to explode. She has 3 cups of decaf and a cup of regular, two glasses of orange juice, three brownies, and half a lasagna in there. No one tells you about the cravings when you are breast feeding.
2:39 - Cate wakes up and needs to be fed and changed... again. So the 7/11 wakes up and does her thing. Both Cate and Mommy fall asleep while feeding.
2:50 - Mommy jolts awake afraid she has rolled onto her sleeping child and killed her. No... Daddy has moved the baby and mommy is crushing a pillow.
3:52 - Cate wakes up and needs to be fed. Mommy feeds her and is on the verge of blessed sleep when she hears the sounds of poop coming. Checking Cate's face, indeed, she is showing her pooping face. Mommy wakes Daddy and tells him to burp and change the baby. Daddy looks bleary eyed, tries to burp the kid for 30 sec, and with no sound forthcoming, he gives up, lays her down and goes back to sleep. Mommy wakes Daddy up again and insists he try a little harder as Cate will just wake up and puke all over her if she doesn't get a proper burp out. Daddy tries again. Mommy doesn't know if he is successful as she falls asleep.
4:43 - Mommy is awakened by a hungry Cate. Mommy is to tired to take proper precautions and is once again soaked with milk. Cate falls asleep and Mommy tries to get a wink in even though she is dripping wet.
5:52 - More feeding, more puking, more dripping. We may need a new mattress after tonight.
6:55 - Daddy is up. Mommy is feeding the kid again.
8:30 - Daddy asks if Mommy needs help today. Mommy insists she is fine. Just bring me a giant cup of coffee and I'll be fine. Send in Abby but make sure she has the ipod with Milo and Otis. We may not survive the morning... Baths all around. Mommy gets up and discovers that Abby has peed out her sheets. Great...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Cutest Darn Things
As I lay Cate down so I can type, Abby is using the grippy buttons on my socks as cell phone keys and then trying to talk on my foot to her cousin Sebbie. It's a crack up. She does the cutest darn things all the time.
We were in the car the other day and Cate was screaming bloody murder because she wasn't being held for about 20 minutes out of the day and Abby was holding her little tightly gripped fist and soothing her with, "It's ok, baby sister. It's alright." If you know what her voice sounds like, you will think this is the cutest thing.
Later, her daddy was taking a nap and she kissed him repeatedly saying that he needed kissing.
She sings to herself in bed and gets excited about drawing noses. She reads books in an incoherent language she made up and runs back and forth to her room taking care of her baby dolls and then tossing them aside to deal with something completely unrelated. She cries about the dog being outside and jumps up and down when we come home, even if we were only downstairs to change the laundry. She does mommy's hair and wants to "hole da beebee." How will I remember all this later? How can I keep her at the most perfect age and let her grow up at the same time? How can I cherish every moment even when she is driving me nuts?
We were in the car the other day and Cate was screaming bloody murder because she wasn't being held for about 20 minutes out of the day and Abby was holding her little tightly gripped fist and soothing her with, "It's ok, baby sister. It's alright." If you know what her voice sounds like, you will think this is the cutest thing.
Later, her daddy was taking a nap and she kissed him repeatedly saying that he needed kissing.
She sings to herself in bed and gets excited about drawing noses. She reads books in an incoherent language she made up and runs back and forth to her room taking care of her baby dolls and then tossing them aside to deal with something completely unrelated. She cries about the dog being outside and jumps up and down when we come home, even if we were only downstairs to change the laundry. She does mommy's hair and wants to "hole da beebee." How will I remember all this later? How can I keep her at the most perfect age and let her grow up at the same time? How can I cherish every moment even when she is driving me nuts?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Not American Idol
My husband is a talented person. He's a gymnast which basically means I will spend our married lives trying to keep up with him physically. He never gains weight and eats like a horse.
He is the most patient person I know. He calms me down and relaxes me when I start to get to crazy.
He is a good husband. He tries to clean, cook and be a general help around here whenever he can. After only 5 years of marriage, he is quite capable of doing laundry while carrying a baby and keeping the dog from barking and waking up the other kid. He's amazing.
There is one thing he can't do. Sing.
The other night, I was passing my daughters room and I heard him singing her a song. I have never thought much of his singing voice but she was loving it. Thank goodness we didn't spawn another Simon Cowell. Andy will never win American Idol but he has won over our daughter with his fatherly attempts at putting her to bed with a song. Thank goodness I found him and he found me.
He is the most patient person I know. He calms me down and relaxes me when I start to get to crazy.
He is a good husband. He tries to clean, cook and be a general help around here whenever he can. After only 5 years of marriage, he is quite capable of doing laundry while carrying a baby and keeping the dog from barking and waking up the other kid. He's amazing.
There is one thing he can't do. Sing.
The other night, I was passing my daughters room and I heard him singing her a song. I have never thought much of his singing voice but she was loving it. Thank goodness we didn't spawn another Simon Cowell. Andy will never win American Idol but he has won over our daughter with his fatherly attempts at putting her to bed with a song. Thank goodness I found him and he found me.
Friday, March 19, 2010
A FewMore Pics
Here is Abby and Daddy at Biltmore. She got this sweatshirt that says Adams State College from Auntie Casey in the mail. She matches Daddy now.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Reality Check
My mom left today. We are settling in for two whole weeks of us being alone with our family. Scary! Anyway, we are going to be getting into a schedule.
We had a baby shower right before she left. Laura put on a pretty good party.
Heather made this beautiful cake. I'm amazed how great she got "my style." She's such a talented person.
We tasted baby food which just confirmed my suspicions that we should never just pick up whatever and feed it to our kids. That stuff is DISGUSTING! Bring on the squash, forget the green stuff.
Got so many AWESOME gifts, both cute and practical. Love my friends. They take care of me.
And everyone fawned over my beautiful new daughter. But don't think that Abby was neglected. That kid made out like a bandit on Christmas. I can't believe how much stuff she got! Everyone wants to make sure she doesn't feel left out. What a great group of people!
Thank you, Laura and everyone. I am so grateful to be a part of such a great group of people and such a loving church.
Heather made this beautiful cake. I'm amazed how great she got "my style." She's such a talented person.
Thank you, Laura and everyone. I am so grateful to be a part of such a great group of people and such a loving church.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The Institution
I recently was looking around my house at the chaos and realized that the Adams' household somewhat resembles an hospital for the insane.
1. There is a strange, unpleasant smell coming from certain rooms.
2. People rarely get out of their PJ's.
3. The common language is a babbling kind of nonsense, even from Mommy.
4. Everyone drools.
5. No one likes to be given a bath and when dragged toward the tub, there is incoherent yelling that often includes the words, "No, Mommy!"
6. When the doorbell rings, everyone jumps.
7. The food (when my mom isn't cooking) is sadly lacking in flavor and texture.
8. Outlets are covered and sharp objects are put in unreachable places.
9. Everyone looks, and might be, drugged.
10. Bodily functions are no longer private.
Well, I hope we get back to normal soon although I have a feeling we are going into a new state of normal. Two children, a crazy mother and grandma leaving... Whatever are we going to do around here?
1. There is a strange, unpleasant smell coming from certain rooms.
2. People rarely get out of their PJ's.
3. The common language is a babbling kind of nonsense, even from Mommy.
4. Everyone drools.
5. No one likes to be given a bath and when dragged toward the tub, there is incoherent yelling that often includes the words, "No, Mommy!"
6. When the doorbell rings, everyone jumps.
7. The food (when my mom isn't cooking) is sadly lacking in flavor and texture.
8. Outlets are covered and sharp objects are put in unreachable places.
9. Everyone looks, and might be, drugged.
10. Bodily functions are no longer private.
Well, I hope we get back to normal soon although I have a feeling we are going into a new state of normal. Two children, a crazy mother and grandma leaving... Whatever are we going to do around here?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Up and At 'Em
I know alot of you are going, "What the heck is Callie doing at church?"
I was there last week, the first week after giving birth. I got out to the store several times before that. I have been here and there and everywhere. Yesterday, after church, I went to Biltmore Estate with the pastor and his wife and it was a blast. OK, here's the deal with me:
1. I didn't have stitches after this birth so it has been alot easier to recover.
2. I am energized by getting out and spending time with my friends and family.
3. I may be overly ambitious about losing the baby weight. After doing it once with Abby, I know I can do it again and I'm really excited to get started. I got into my prebirth pants for church last week and my uterus isn't even down to normal size yet! Therefore, this blog may turn into a chronicle of my weight loss goals including but not limited to: exercise, food choices, weight and or BMI updates. Please feel free to suggest whatever you want but realize that I have an infant and a toddler and I don't have a double stroller. I have no money for a gym and my maternity leave ends the first part of April so I will be limited on time.
I was there last week, the first week after giving birth. I got out to the store several times before that. I have been here and there and everywhere. Yesterday, after church, I went to Biltmore Estate with the pastor and his wife and it was a blast. OK, here's the deal with me:
1. I didn't have stitches after this birth so it has been alot easier to recover.
2. I am energized by getting out and spending time with my friends and family.
3. I may be overly ambitious about losing the baby weight. After doing it once with Abby, I know I can do it again and I'm really excited to get started. I got into my prebirth pants for church last week and my uterus isn't even down to normal size yet! Therefore, this blog may turn into a chronicle of my weight loss goals including but not limited to: exercise, food choices, weight and or BMI updates. Please feel free to suggest whatever you want but realize that I have an infant and a toddler and I don't have a double stroller. I have no money for a gym and my maternity leave ends the first part of April so I will be limited on time.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Spa Day
Casey bought Abby some spa stuff for her birthday.
Always rest up before you head to the spa.
Always hydrate before you get a massage.
Cate hates getting a bath.
Abby organizes her spa stuff.
Daddy gets cucumbers. Abby calls them pickles. LOL!
Now it's Abby's turn.
Even Cate gets in on the action. We use cucumbers because they're moist.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Mother of Two... AAHHHH!!!
I have been the mother of two for 8 full days now and I'm going nuts. How do you discipline a two year old and breast feed an infant at the same time? Why has modern technology made our lives more fast paced and crazy, instead of slowing us down and helping us relax? Mabye it has always been like this and I'm just now feeling it because it's my turn. Some days, I'm nuts and some I'm just feeling down and low and tired. Coffee is the only thing that gets me going and all this time, I have had my mother here. I have not done a stitch of laundry. She has cooked all the meals and cleaned the kitchen. "What else is there to do?" you ask.
I feed the baby. I change the baby. I sooth the baby. I let Abby hold the baby. I pump and then it is time to start all over again. Infants are 24 hour jobs. It is literally like that all the time: day and night. I get no sleep and when the baby is napping, Abby is not and I'm dealing with, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." I love it but it's wearing me out especially because my iron is so low and I don't know how long it will take to build back up the blood that I lost.
A couple of nights ago, right when my boobs were about to explode from being filled up all day, my pump died. I cried. I broke down and cried. I'm tired, I'm stressed and then my boobs were hurting and there was no relief in sight. Don't think I didn't consider every option... yes, I considered exactly what you are thinking! But... my friend had a nice pump that she wasn't using and the next day I broke every speed record getting out there to pick it up. Thank goodness for good friends who let you borrow their stuff. Thank goodness for mother's who keep your house from looking like a bomb went off in it. Thank goodness for husbands who don't freak out when you cry and cry and cry and cry...
I feed the baby. I change the baby. I sooth the baby. I let Abby hold the baby. I pump and then it is time to start all over again. Infants are 24 hour jobs. It is literally like that all the time: day and night. I get no sleep and when the baby is napping, Abby is not and I'm dealing with, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy..." I love it but it's wearing me out especially because my iron is so low and I don't know how long it will take to build back up the blood that I lost.
A couple of nights ago, right when my boobs were about to explode from being filled up all day, my pump died. I cried. I broke down and cried. I'm tired, I'm stressed and then my boobs were hurting and there was no relief in sight. Don't think I didn't consider every option... yes, I considered exactly what you are thinking! But... my friend had a nice pump that she wasn't using and the next day I broke every speed record getting out there to pick it up. Thank goodness for good friends who let you borrow their stuff. Thank goodness for mother's who keep your house from looking like a bomb went off in it. Thank goodness for husbands who don't freak out when you cry and cry and cry and cry...
Monday, March 8, 2010
I Love You
I have been telling Abby I love her several times a day, every day since she has been alive. Andy tells her also. When Grandma comes (from either side), they say it also. Finally, when my mom got here, Abby was heading out to bed and Grandma called, "I love you, Abby." She responded with, "Love you, too." It was the sweetest thing. Grandma got to be the first one to hear it from her. (Unless Andy heard it sometime and I wasn't around. But she still hadn't told me she loved me, EVER. Ouch.
Last night, I was putting her to bed and she kept coming out of her room. I told her to go back in and she turned and said, "Ok. I love you, Mommy," all on her own! I almost cried. It ALMOST got her out of her bed time but no such luck. I did go back with her and snuggle her into her bed... for the third time.
It is the BEST to hear that from your kid. She is saying it this morning to Daddy as he goes off to work and I have a feeling that we are embarking on a new phase where she starts to understand what that means.
Last night, I was putting her to bed and she kept coming out of her room. I told her to go back in and she turned and said, "Ok. I love you, Mommy," all on her own! I almost cried. It ALMOST got her out of her bed time but no such luck. I did go back with her and snuggle her into her bed... for the third time.
It is the BEST to hear that from your kid. She is saying it this morning to Daddy as he goes off to work and I have a feeling that we are embarking on a new phase where she starts to understand what that means.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Mom's Mom
My mom is here. She was in the delivery room with me. She was here a week and a half before the birth. She has cleaned my house, made my meals, and helped with the kids. She takes amazing pictures and still has the energy to hang out with my friends and have a good time. She's amazing. When you become a mommy, you need your mommy. Mommy's are important. They take care of you. They are the best. I am lucky to have two mother's that care about me, help me and would drop it all and run to my side if I asked: my mother and Andy's mother. It's great having them here and I love every minute I get to spend just enjoying my own kids because of their help.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
All About Boobs
So for all you women out there who are about to embark on the journey of breastfeeding, I want to give you a couple of hints from my personal experience:
1. You WILL know when your milk comes in. It will tingle, burn or hurt. You will go into the shower a nice perfect 36 B and come out a HUGE and overwhelming 40 DD. It comes in all at once in what has been dubbed the "whoosh." You will walk around your house holding your torpedoes up and begging to go shopping for nursing bras. Your boobs will ache.
2. Buy a pump. Your little one will never eat all you have and your pump will never get you all the way dry. I do both. I pump and feed and pump and feed. This keeps my milk up, keeps me from getting achy and keeps me in a good supply of milk that I can use in emergencies.
3. While pumping, remember that gravity pulls the majority of your milk down into the bottom of the breast. Massage your breast from all sides towards the nipple and at the end, squeeze the milk up from the bottom. Start your pump off really softly so it isn't vacuuming you to death. Turn up the suction as you feel you can handle it. This will take weeks, not minutes. Don't feel bad if you are only doing about 4 or 5 minutes on each side and only getting about an ounce out of each side at first. Your milk will start off coming out kinda clear (skim milk) and then get more and more creamy as you come to the end (after a few minutes, you will have straight cream.) This is the fatty part that help brain development in your child. If you pump before you feed, leave this stuff so your kid is getting the best part. If you pump out after you feed the baby, you will have this stuff rising to the top. Don't worry, your milk isn't going bad, it's just not pasteurized. It separated. Just shake it up.
4. Even if you are pumping and breastfeeding, it's good to have at least a few packets of formula around. These come in handy when you can't take a little refriged bag of milk with you everywhere you go or if you run out of milk or if you are stuck between two huge business men on a long flight in coach. Just bring a bottle of already measured water, dump in the packet and shake and your kid gets a relatively healthy meal that will hold them until you can get somewhere to feed in private.
5. If your nipples start to get sore (they will hurt like hell at first - just be ready) some of the best things you can do is to pump and massage, let them air dry (don't wipe off the excess milk - it has healing properties), use an all natural nipple cream (I suggest Mommy's Bliss).
6. There will be toe curling pain when you first start out. The latch is important. There are different ways to hold your baby - across your body, under your arm, laying side by side... The best way to get started is to hold them across your body and hold their head in your hand and your breast in the hand on that side. Wait for your baby's mouth to be WIDE open and then quickly roll them onto the nipple, bottom lip first. Make sure that bottom lip is rolled out and their tongue gets almost out of their mouth. Don't let them chomp on your nipple. If it comes out of their mouth flat as a pancake, it's not in far enough. This is all going to be overwhelming and difficult to decipher at first and realize that it takes several weeks to get it so you aren't even looking, you are just sticking the kid on there and covering her up with a blanket and having a conversation with your pastor.
7. Thrush is a common cause of pain. Check with your doctor if your kid has white stuff in their mouth.
8. If you decide to give up on breastfeeding, don't feel bad, not every mommy can do it and not every baby is up for it either.
1. You WILL know when your milk comes in. It will tingle, burn or hurt. You will go into the shower a nice perfect 36 B and come out a HUGE and overwhelming 40 DD. It comes in all at once in what has been dubbed the "whoosh." You will walk around your house holding your torpedoes up and begging to go shopping for nursing bras. Your boobs will ache.
2. Buy a pump. Your little one will never eat all you have and your pump will never get you all the way dry. I do both. I pump and feed and pump and feed. This keeps my milk up, keeps me from getting achy and keeps me in a good supply of milk that I can use in emergencies.
3. While pumping, remember that gravity pulls the majority of your milk down into the bottom of the breast. Massage your breast from all sides towards the nipple and at the end, squeeze the milk up from the bottom. Start your pump off really softly so it isn't vacuuming you to death. Turn up the suction as you feel you can handle it. This will take weeks, not minutes. Don't feel bad if you are only doing about 4 or 5 minutes on each side and only getting about an ounce out of each side at first. Your milk will start off coming out kinda clear (skim milk) and then get more and more creamy as you come to the end (after a few minutes, you will have straight cream.) This is the fatty part that help brain development in your child. If you pump before you feed, leave this stuff so your kid is getting the best part. If you pump out after you feed the baby, you will have this stuff rising to the top. Don't worry, your milk isn't going bad, it's just not pasteurized. It separated. Just shake it up.
4. Even if you are pumping and breastfeeding, it's good to have at least a few packets of formula around. These come in handy when you can't take a little refriged bag of milk with you everywhere you go or if you run out of milk or if you are stuck between two huge business men on a long flight in coach. Just bring a bottle of already measured water, dump in the packet and shake and your kid gets a relatively healthy meal that will hold them until you can get somewhere to feed in private.
5. If your nipples start to get sore (they will hurt like hell at first - just be ready) some of the best things you can do is to pump and massage, let them air dry (don't wipe off the excess milk - it has healing properties), use an all natural nipple cream (I suggest Mommy's Bliss).
6. There will be toe curling pain when you first start out. The latch is important. There are different ways to hold your baby - across your body, under your arm, laying side by side... The best way to get started is to hold them across your body and hold their head in your hand and your breast in the hand on that side. Wait for your baby's mouth to be WIDE open and then quickly roll them onto the nipple, bottom lip first. Make sure that bottom lip is rolled out and their tongue gets almost out of their mouth. Don't let them chomp on your nipple. If it comes out of their mouth flat as a pancake, it's not in far enough. This is all going to be overwhelming and difficult to decipher at first and realize that it takes several weeks to get it so you aren't even looking, you are just sticking the kid on there and covering her up with a blanket and having a conversation with your pastor.
7. Thrush is a common cause of pain. Check with your doctor if your kid has white stuff in their mouth.
8. If you decide to give up on breastfeeding, don't feel bad, not every mommy can do it and not every baby is up for it either.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Breastfeeding
Well, we have started the Adams' Dairy again. Last night I went to be a nice 36 C and woke up a 38 DD. Woosh! Here was the milk. Cate was getting fussy every time she ate and then, after having a nice meal for the first time, she slept forever. Today she has been in a milk comma all day which is not good for a mommy who's boobs are getting to be hard as rocks as the minutes tick by. Therefore, I have broken out the pump (yucky...) and I am well on my way to having leather nipples. Went off the pain meds today and that basically made breastfeeding TORTURE again.
Abby has been facinated with the whole thing. She watches me feed the baby. Today she said, "Baby drinkin' milk." Yep, she gets it. She pulled up her shirt and fed her baby. It was so funny. She points up her shirt and says, "Abby's boobs." Well, kid, thank goodness you don't have boobs yet but yes, that is where they will be when they get here...
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Cate is Home
I am home with Cate. It is interesting to see how it all is going. I'm so weak from losing so much blood and tired from breast feeding at all hours. But seeing Abby with Cate makes it all worth it. Actually, when I got here, I felt this overwhelming need to spend time with Abby. After being with Cate for two days and not seeing Abby at all, I was really worried about Abby and how she was going to be when I got home. I fed Cate and handed her off to my mom to burp and comfort while I played with Abby as much as I was able. Problem: I am getting light headed and nauseous. It's hard not to panic everytime I feel weird after having a near death experience.
I am going to say something I never thought I would: I really had a good experience with this birth. I got to see the baby come out and I didn't think I would want to but I went ahead and got the mirror thinking that I just wouldn't look if I got to wierded out. I closed my eyes at the end because I was pushing and kinda freaking out but I actually saw the crowning and all that and I could feel her coming out. It was painful but kinda... awesome. I mean, I really never thought I would say that but the actual pushing the baby out part was crazy cool. I felt so accomplished.
I'm so much more tired than I thought I would be. I think I'm going to take a couple of days to not see very many people and just sleep and rest and stuff although its hard. I feel like if I'm in bed, I'm missing out on something out in the world. Crazy right? I'm like a 5 year old. Cate is amazing. Abby is amazing and I wish I could just give over my time to both of them.
I am going to say something I never thought I would: I really had a good experience with this birth. I got to see the baby come out and I didn't think I would want to but I went ahead and got the mirror thinking that I just wouldn't look if I got to wierded out. I closed my eyes at the end because I was pushing and kinda freaking out but I actually saw the crowning and all that and I could feel her coming out. It was painful but kinda... awesome. I mean, I really never thought I would say that but the actual pushing the baby out part was crazy cool. I felt so accomplished.
I'm so much more tired than I thought I would be. I think I'm going to take a couple of days to not see very many people and just sleep and rest and stuff although its hard. I feel like if I'm in bed, I'm missing out on something out in the world. Crazy right? I'm like a 5 year old. Cate is amazing. Abby is amazing and I wish I could just give over my time to both of them.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Long Laborious Labor
Well, it's all over folks. After a little Oxytocin, 11 hours of waiting around and doing nothing but playing bejeweled on the ipod, I pushed out an 8 lb 2 oz. baby girl. She was perfect although cheesy... LOL. I started pushing and here comes the doctor who really believed that I had a while to go. She headed off to use the restroom and there came Cate's head. Someone yelled for the doctor and she came racing out of the bathroom pulling up her scrubs, but not fast enough. The entire OB ward knew that she had blue underwear. Then she yells to the nurse, "Barbara, hold her in there. I'm getting gloves. Oh, forget it..." Then she just caught the baby bare handed. I felt kinda bad but the chute was slippery and I had no control over how fast that kid was coming out. She is beautiful and I cried. My mom took pictures and posted them here. http://gammasusie.blogspot.com/
Then I sent Laura out to get me my favorite recovery meal: Arby's! When she got back I wolfed it down, fed the baby and then... it happened. I knew that dang Murphy's Law was waiting to kick my butt. I didn't tear from the delivery, she had come out so easy, this was way to easy. Something had to go wrong. I could feel the Arby's gurgling around in my stomach. I really was starting to get sick. I hate to throw up so I knew this was going to be bad. I said quietly to the nurse, "I'm going to puke." Then it all happened really fast. I couldn't breath. That was all I knew. I couldn't breath. I was raking in breath and no one was helping me. Where was a hand to hold? I was suffocating! There was a doctor there that wasn't my doctor and he was asking if I wanted to know what was going on down below. Apparently, they had pulled back the sheets and I was hemorrhaging. I actually said, "No, I don't CARE! I can't BREATH!" It's funny how when you can't breath, they put an oxygen mask OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE and you feel like you can't breath even more. After what seemed like an eternity of not being able to get a breath, and some horrible pain coming from the nether region, I felt my chest begin to let up. I was breathing better but I was crying like crazy. They stuck me with needles that I couldn't see the need for, they pushed on my already tender stomach and basically made me crazy. Once I got my breath and my doctor (after getting a speeding ticket trying to get back to the hospital after being paged) got back and was standing next to my bed, the nurses pulled back the covers and I saw what happened. There was blood EVERYWHERE! I almost fainted just seeing them clean up and the concerned look on Dr. Happy's face made me worry. I was wiped out already but to see that there might be more after the not-being-able-to-breath incident made me want to cry all over again.
I finally got all cleaned up and Dr. Happy explained everything to me. I had clotted at the opening of the uterus and I wasn't bleeding out properly, therefore I was bleeding internally. That's not good for a uterus. You need to bleed out, not let it stay in. Usually we think of stopping the bleeding but that's not how it works with your uterus. It needs to bleed out and clamp down. So, I was building up and building up and the uterus didn't know what to do. It just kept bleeding and building up. Anyway, once they got the clot out of the way, all that blood came out and it was ALOT so I was way weak and they considered giving me a transfusion. They got me all cross checked and drew more blood to check my platelets. After 6 hours or so, they decided I didn't need blood - just rest. So I'm stuck in the hospital for a while but I have Cate to keep me company and her little gruntings are great conversation for me.
I know this blog was all about me and not much about Cate. She is perfection itself and when Abby came to see her today, she pronounced her Baby Cakes. Love it. Don't worry about me. I'm doing great. Cate was with Daddy through the whole scary experience and my mom was by my side for the whole thing. Mission Hospitals Dr.s and nurses did an amazing job and I'm very lucky to be in such a great place with my new baby who I LOVE! So, now if it would just stop snowing long enough for us to get home...
Then I sent Laura out to get me my favorite recovery meal: Arby's! When she got back I wolfed it down, fed the baby and then... it happened. I knew that dang Murphy's Law was waiting to kick my butt. I didn't tear from the delivery, she had come out so easy, this was way to easy. Something had to go wrong. I could feel the Arby's gurgling around in my stomach. I really was starting to get sick. I hate to throw up so I knew this was going to be bad. I said quietly to the nurse, "I'm going to puke." Then it all happened really fast. I couldn't breath. That was all I knew. I couldn't breath. I was raking in breath and no one was helping me. Where was a hand to hold? I was suffocating! There was a doctor there that wasn't my doctor and he was asking if I wanted to know what was going on down below. Apparently, they had pulled back the sheets and I was hemorrhaging. I actually said, "No, I don't CARE! I can't BREATH!" It's funny how when you can't breath, they put an oxygen mask OVER YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE and you feel like you can't breath even more. After what seemed like an eternity of not being able to get a breath, and some horrible pain coming from the nether region, I felt my chest begin to let up. I was breathing better but I was crying like crazy. They stuck me with needles that I couldn't see the need for, they pushed on my already tender stomach and basically made me crazy. Once I got my breath and my doctor (after getting a speeding ticket trying to get back to the hospital after being paged) got back and was standing next to my bed, the nurses pulled back the covers and I saw what happened. There was blood EVERYWHERE! I almost fainted just seeing them clean up and the concerned look on Dr. Happy's face made me worry. I was wiped out already but to see that there might be more after the not-being-able-to-breath incident made me want to cry all over again.
I finally got all cleaned up and Dr. Happy explained everything to me. I had clotted at the opening of the uterus and I wasn't bleeding out properly, therefore I was bleeding internally. That's not good for a uterus. You need to bleed out, not let it stay in. Usually we think of stopping the bleeding but that's not how it works with your uterus. It needs to bleed out and clamp down. So, I was building up and building up and the uterus didn't know what to do. It just kept bleeding and building up. Anyway, once they got the clot out of the way, all that blood came out and it was ALOT so I was way weak and they considered giving me a transfusion. They got me all cross checked and drew more blood to check my platelets. After 6 hours or so, they decided I didn't need blood - just rest. So I'm stuck in the hospital for a while but I have Cate to keep me company and her little gruntings are great conversation for me.
I know this blog was all about me and not much about Cate. She is perfection itself and when Abby came to see her today, she pronounced her Baby Cakes. Love it. Don't worry about me. I'm doing great. Cate was with Daddy through the whole scary experience and my mom was by my side for the whole thing. Mission Hospitals Dr.s and nurses did an amazing job and I'm very lucky to be in such a great place with my new baby who I LOVE! So, now if it would just stop snowing long enough for us to get home...
Monday, March 1, 2010
Blow by Blow #1
Willing to bet I will not be blogging through this whole thing but I am still not on the pitocen so... here goes.
Came in at 6. No one at the desk. Had to get some random guy off the elevator to let us in. Next, get into the room. Get set up. It's now around 7:30 and we have gone through 2 nurses. Next, nurse who was with me the last time is back. Love her. She says the same words she did last time... "I'm great at this." Meaning the IV. She missed... again. Poor lady. I did try to warn her.
Called in the IV team. First REALLY funny thing that happened, the IV specialist was a Ken doll. His teeth were one big mass of white and he looked like he worked out. Maybe 2% body fat. Hilarious. About to start pit... will update when I can. Check out my mom's blog for a more up to date time laps.
Came in at 6. No one at the desk. Had to get some random guy off the elevator to let us in. Next, get into the room. Get set up. It's now around 7:30 and we have gone through 2 nurses. Next, nurse who was with me the last time is back. Love her. She says the same words she did last time... "I'm great at this." Meaning the IV. She missed... again. Poor lady. I did try to warn her.
Called in the IV team. First REALLY funny thing that happened, the IV specialist was a Ken doll. His teeth were one big mass of white and he looked like he worked out. Maybe 2% body fat. Hilarious. About to start pit... will update when I can. Check out my mom's blog for a more up to date time laps.
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