An irreverent look at motherhood and family life in a new state of normal.

Friday, April 23, 2010


We, as parents of an infant who insists on projectile puking, deal in degrees of puke. "How much puke is on this shirt? Can I still wear it or is it just to much...?" Yes, this is what we ask ourselves on a daily basis. I'm sure our students are amazed at how dirty our shirts are but if we changed our shirts every time we got puked on, it would be a never ending cycle of changing and being puked on and changing and being puked on and we would never leave the house.

I used to resent my husbands millions of t-shirts but I have taken to wearing them while in the house and even, to the chagrin of a very dear friend that hates red-neck fashion, to the mail box and to put the dog out. Usually, I'm not wearing a bra (sorry, neighbors who read my blog...). I try to keep this behavior limited to the early morning or late night so I am cloaked by darkness. Anyway, I go through several of Andy's t-shirts a day due to vomit from the kiddo. I put it in and she shoots it back at me.

I used to have a towel covering the couch. Sometimes, I still do this but it always gets removed. Suddenly, I understand why our grandmothers just kept the plastic wrap over all their furniture - kids...

I have cleaned puke out of the couch, the carpet, my hair... Yes... that's how bad it is. At first I was a little overwhelmed by how many onsies I received when the wardrobe came back around. (We have been passing baby clothes as we seem to all have baby girls on a great time line. Therefore, we have an ever expanding collection of girls clothes that have just come back to me.) I now am totally grateful as Cate goes through 3 or 4 a day. What really gets on my nerves is when I'm changing her, I will barely get the onsie over her head and she will puke on her shoulder as I'm doing up the snaps at the bottom. Yep, she has yet to wear a clean onsie for more than 15 seconds.

It seems like she is puking way more than Abby ever did although I distinctly remember never having a clean shirt with her either. But with Cate, I don't even have a dry shirt... or pants. She BATHES me every time I feed her. I hate burping her because I know there is going to be an excessive amount of "urp" all over me, the sheets, the couch, the floor, whatever. We don't use burp rags so much anymore as we use towels. Not little hand towels or wash clothes - bath sheets. Beach towels.

Ok, you may be saying, "Have you talked to the doctor about this?" I would, but she poops huge amounts, wets several diapers a day, and is gaining weight so is there really anything wrong with her? I doubt it. I'm just not great with the puke.

1 comment:

  1. I started reading this to Dad and he put his book up and started reading it. I just quit reading and he didn't even notice. So I guess it isn't an interesting enough subject for him. Puke. Oh well. I though it was hilarious and laughed all the way through. Reminded me of you when you were a baby.