Heard this story and had to post it. Actually, she told me I had to post it. You have to read it with a Virginia accent out lout to get even part of the effect. Even then, the lady who told it had AWESOME comedic timing.
My OBGYN's son's name is Ryan. He's 5. For a Christmas present last year, he got a HUGE Nerf gun - one that has darts that are shot in rapid fire. It's as big as him. One day (right after the big snow storm that had us locked in our houses in NC for several days) he walked into the kitchen holding the giant gun between his legs. "Mama, my penis is stuck!"
She's like, "ARE YOU KIDDING?!" It was indeed stuck in the cartridge where you load the darts. Her and her husband tried everything to get the poor kids manhood out - Vaseline, gentle prodding. Nothing was working.
"Babe, we have to take him to the ER."
"We are NOT taking my son to the hospital where I work with a Nerf gun stuck to his... thing."
"What are we going to do? We can't leave it there. It's just going to get worse."
"I know!" the husband cried. "It's colder than it's ever been outside. Take him outside!"
She looked right at me and said, "Shrinkage saved my sons penis."
When she took him back inside, she asked, "Ryan, what possesed you to put your penis in that gun?"
He calmly explained, "Well, Mama, it looked like it would fit."
"The lesson here son is don't put your penis every where it looks like it will fit."
The father, passing by added, "Most of the time."
He learned NOTHING!