My Childs Capability

I was intrigued by this article stating that Western parenting has become lazy and permissive. I have to agree with the author on some points. (Let me emphasize SOME points as I disagree with many things in this theory of parenting)

We have let our children believe that they are incapable of doing things by allowing them to give up. Winston Churchill stated, "But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period -- I am addressing myself to the School -- surely from this period of ten months, this is the lesson: Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." I don't think we should apply this to only our dreams and aspirations but also to those little problems that come along like a difficult math problem or a skill that seems unattainable. We should not only think of this in terms of defeating an army of men but a defeatist attitude in ourselves that may cause us to believe that we don't have the strength, inherent smarts, or natural ability to do something. Not everyone is born with the natural "gift" of reading comprehension. But everyone is able to put in time, energy and WORK that makes us a better reader and understanding of what we read.

The other thing that was positive that I gleaned from this article was how these Chinese mother's stay with their children to deal with these issues. Although I don't in any way agree with berating your child as a means of coercion, I was quite impressed that instead of stating that a child has to do something and then walking away, they stay right next to the kid, investing their own time and energy in the learning process. This is a great tip we can take away. Don't sit your kid down in front of their math homework and then go watch TV while they wonder what they are doing. Sit there and watch them, help them and encourage them that they are perfectly capable of handling the lesson. Encourage them over and over to read the instructions and never give them the answer but allow them to find it for themselves allowing them to know that they are able to do this with the right amount of WORK! Yes, work. I said it...

These two positive attributes of "Eastern Parenting" will impart two valuable things to my child: A sense that they can do anything by putting in enough work, and that I am always going to be there to encourage, support and be that sense of stability no matter what. I want to push my kids to be the best because they are capable.

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Addiction

I'm addicted to baths. I'm addicted to hot water, in addition to alot of other things. I can put Cate on the floor and have Abby "help" me and take a bath and feel better. I take two or three a day when I have a very young baby. I take less the older the baby gets. Stress just seems to melt away in hot water. I'm in a warm bubble where nothing can get me. It's crazy. I love it.
I'm addicted to chocolate. Every woman's worst addiction. I love chocolate. I have actually taken a liking to Chocolate Silk. Many nights, you can find me behind the refrigerator door sucking down a cup or so of the chocolaty goodness. Yummy... It goes down my throat and gets me all warm and fuzzy inside. Very smooth. Dove squares are a weakness as well.

I'm addicted to sleep. Any time I get upset, after taking a bath and drinking some chocolate silk, I just want to take a nap in a warm blanket.

I'm addicted to caffeine. I don't like being awake but I have to be. The only way to stay awake long enough to make sure my kids are taken care of and my husband is happy is to drink massive amounts of caffeine. I have decided that I might need to back off this one a little more. I noticed a weird feeling today and I think it's all about the fact that the majority of my liquids intake today was caffeinated. Grrr... I have to check myself on that one more.

I'm addicted to my kids. They are the best things and when I'm away from them, although there is sometimes that sense of relief that I'm not responsible for them for a short time, I miss them. I miss them after only an hour. Sometimes I need more than an hour as a break but I'm always a better mother after a break because I realize how much I need them and to be needed by them.

The Increadible Shrinking Bedtime

I have been trying to find a happy medium with Abby. She usually gets up around 8 am. If she takes a nap, it's usually 2-3 hours in the afternoon. She can't sleep again until around 10 or so. I have tried putting her in a dark room and just leaving her there. She will cry or scream or play or get up and come out until around 10 o'clock and then drop off. It's tough. During the summer, we tried no nap. She would hit the hay around 7 pm. Now she can't make it that long anymore. I'm not sure if it's because there isn't the excitement here in Montana that there was with her cousins around or what but she will sleep whether I like it or not around 12 or 12:30 after her lunch and stay that way until around 3. She is going to be about 8 pm and actually going to sleep. We have had so many different routines that it's hard for me to determine what is the best. Anyone else have trouble with their kids sleep patterns? Does anyone have suggestions?