Sometimes, at night, when I'm awake after someone has been crying and I have been soothing, stuff goes through my head. I start to remember all the little things that I have done that annoy me. Little things I may have said in a moment of weakness that maybe the other person has forgotten all about but I still remember how hurt they were. Moments of immaturity where I did something that I regret. Missteps that caused pain. All these little things are putting my burden over the limit. They are things I stress over for no good reason accept that I feel the need to torture myself. I don't know why...
What is it about human nature that makes us feel like we need to be in purgatory over our sins and mistakes? What can we possibly do that will make up for it all?
I always here that you need to release your burden to Christ but how do you do that? I literally think about putting it down and not worrying anymore but still, when there is nothing but silence, those little things come back to my mind and I wonder if I will ever be a peace.
I think that happens to everyone. I think Satan likes torturing us especially when we have gone through something tramatic. I have learned to think of God as my soul-mate. It seems when I can pour my heart out to a friend that I can trust with it all I feel better. More at peace. A sou-mate cares about you no matter what. 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you."
ReplyDeleteI don't think Jesus cares about how you come to Him as long as you do. I've had all emotions when going to Him, but He was where I went and He worked me through it. I began to trust in Him that He would always be there for me no matter what.
Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep him in perfect peace, because his mind is staying on you and he trusts in you."
He has forgiven you for all the stupid things you think you did. Trust that He did. Accept that He did. Then you can let go of those little things that keep bothering you. He will provide opportunity for you to make right whatever you need to. The rest is His to deal with.
Hang in there honey! You are a wonderful woman with an awesome brain....and, we discovered, a tender heart. Romans 8:38, "...neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!"