Weening

Someone asked me recently how I weened my girls.

Abby weened almost by herself. I was on a very ridged schedule with her where she ate at certain times and never in between. It was easy to cut out feedings and add in formula after her 8th month. She was also eating some solids by then. When the 10th month was up, I was tired of breastfeeding and she was down to 2 feedings a day anyway. I just decided one day that I had enough and we were done. That was her last feeding and she didn't seem to upset about it.

Cate was a little harder although I didn't nurse her as long. I did the same thing. For about 2 months, I slowed down the feedings and added in formula here and there. She was down to three feedings a day when we took a trip and I decided I was done. I don't like nursing in public. I was away from home for a month and I just stopped nursing her. She was not happy about it. There was some crying and that arching of the back. She would bury her head in my cleavage and nuzzle me. I just stuck to my guns and rocked her, held her and fed her warm bottles while holding her very close to me when she was feeling that "comfort nursing" feeling. She's still a bit clingy but I'm all done.

Always copying Mommy

Checking to make sure she has baby latched right.

The bottom line in my book is, they are your boobs and you can have them back whenever you want. You are the parent, you are the one who has to pull out a boob whenever you believe they want to nurse. The older they are, the harder it is because they can begin to ask for a nurse or they can pull up your shirt or grab at a boob.

From what I have read, breast feeding takes two people. If the baby doesn't want to do it, it's not going to happen. If the mommy doesn't want to do it, it won't happen. If you really want to ween your child, you will do what ever it takes. If you are not really ready, you will continue to give in to your babies signals. There is no hard and fast rule about when a baby should be weened. You have to go with your motherly instincts on when it is time. Just be sure you are doing whats best for your baby and not what's best for YOU.

Me and the Porn Star Mom

I was watching a documentary the other day and there was a porn star on who had been married to some crazy rocker. They had a baby together. Cate is only three weeks old so I'm still a little hormonal but even two years after Abby's birth, I have felt a special connection with other mothers.

The porn stars daughter died at 4 years old from cancer. I cried. Yep... I sat there and cried on behalf of the porn star mom. I felt that pull of sisterhood and cried for her. At that moment, she wasn't a porn star, she was a mother and I was a mother and we were on the same level. I wasn't better than her and she wasn't better than me. We were both sad over the loss of human life and although I have never lost a living child, I have felt loss and I felt it for her.

Should that be how the family of God is? Shouldn't we always feel the pull of humanity? Shouldn't we all be on the same level, loving one another and sharing in experiences? I hope it's always like that. I hope I can see it that way. We have all had an experience, the same experience to an extent. Can we all feel that for each other? Can we all feel the pull of being saved and the loss of human/divine life that it took to save us?

All About Boobs

So for all you women out there who are about to embark on the journey of breastfeeding, I want to give you a couple of hints from my personal experience:

1. You WILL know when your milk comes in. It will tingle, burn or hurt. You will go into the shower a nice perfect 36 B and come out a HUGE and overwhelming 40 DD. It comes in all at once in what has been dubbed the "whoosh." You will walk around your house holding your torpedoes up and begging to go shopping for nursing bras. Your boobs will ache.

2. Buy a pump. Your little one will never eat all you have and your pump will never get you all the way dry. I do both. I pump and feed and pump and feed. This keeps my milk up, keeps me from getting achy and keeps me in a good supply of milk that I can use in emergencies.

3. While pumping, remember that gravity pulls the majority of your milk down into the bottom of the breast. Massage your breast from all sides towards the nipple and at the end, squeeze the milk up from the bottom. Start your pump off really softly so it isn't vacuuming you to death. Turn up the suction as you feel you can handle it. This will take weeks, not minutes. Don't feel bad if you are only doing about 4 or 5 minutes on each side and only getting about an ounce out of each side at first. Your milk will start off coming out kinda clear (skim milk) and then get more and more creamy as you come to the end (after a few minutes, you will have straight cream.) This is the fatty part that help brain development in your child. If you pump before you feed, leave this stuff so your kid is getting the best part. If you pump out after you feed the baby, you will have this stuff rising to the top. Don't worry, your milk isn't going bad, it's just not pasteurized. It separated. Just shake it up.

4. Even if you are pumping and breastfeeding, it's good to have at least a few packets of formula around. These come in handy when you can't take a little refriged bag of milk with you everywhere you go or if you run out of milk or if you are stuck between two huge business men on a long flight in coach. Just bring a bottle of already measured water, dump in the packet and shake and your kid gets a relatively healthy meal that will hold them until you can get somewhere to feed in private.

5. If your nipples start to get sore (they will hurt like hell at first - just be ready) some of the best things you can do is to pump and massage, let them air dry (don't wipe off the excess milk - it has healing properties), use an all natural nipple cream (I suggest Mommy's Bliss).

6. There will be toe curling pain when you first start out. The latch is important. There are different ways to hold your baby - across your body, under your arm, laying side by side... The best way to get started is to hold them across your body and hold their head in your hand and your breast in the hand on that side. Wait for your baby's mouth to be WIDE open and then quickly roll them onto the nipple, bottom lip first. Make sure that bottom lip is rolled out and their tongue gets almost out of their mouth. Don't let them chomp on your nipple. If it comes out of their mouth flat as a pancake, it's not in far enough. This is all going to be overwhelming and difficult to decipher at first and realize that it takes several weeks to get it so you aren't even looking, you are just sticking the kid on there and covering her up with a blanket and having a conversation with your pastor.

7. Thrush is a common cause of pain. Check with your doctor if your kid has white stuff in their mouth.

8. If you decide to give up on breastfeeding, don't feel bad, not every mommy can do it and not every baby is up for it either.

Cate is Home

I am home with Cate. It is interesting to see how it all is going. I'm so weak from losing so much blood and tired from breast feeding at all hours. But seeing Abby with Cate makes it all worth it. Actually, when I got here, I felt this overwhelming need to spend time with Abby. After being with Cate for two days and not seeing Abby at all, I was really worried about Abby and how she was going to be when I got home. I fed Cate and handed her off to my mom to burp and comfort while I played with Abby as much as I was able. Problem: I am getting light headed and nauseous. It's hard not to panic everytime I feel weird after having a near death experience.

I am going to say something I never thought I would: I really had a good experience with this birth. I got to see the baby come out and I didn't think I would want to but I went ahead and got the mirror thinking that I just wouldn't look if I got to wierded out. I closed my eyes at the end because I was pushing and kinda freaking out but I actually saw the crowning and all that and I could feel her coming out. It was painful but kinda... awesome. I mean, I really never thought I would say that but the actual pushing the baby out part was crazy cool. I felt so accomplished.

I'm so much more tired than I thought I would be. I think I'm going to take a couple of days to not see very many people and just sleep and rest and stuff although its hard. I feel like if I'm in bed, I'm missing out on something out in the world. Crazy right? I'm like a 5 year old. Cate is amazing. Abby is amazing and I wish I could just give over my time to both of them.