Allure of Dairy

Veganism is an issue tonight. I'm trying desperately to give up cheese but in order to get rid of the cheese in the house without throwing it out, I made a several macaroni and cheeses and froze them for days when I didn't feel like cooking for the family. Tonight, I had a migraine and I told Andy to take out one of the casseroles and bake it up for the kiddos and himself. He fed the kids and headed out to study leaving me alone (after putting the girls to bed) with the delightful combination of cheese and pasta sitting all hot and steamy in front of me. It just tantalized me until I took a spoonful, just to get it off my chest. It snowballed from there. You know how it is. I had to cover it and put it in the fridge but before that, I almost ate the whole dang thing. I will wallow in guilt over that later while looking at my huge thighs in the full length mirror. For now, I'm sitting here, all warm and yummy feeling while watching reruns, listening to Abby sing in her bed, and sipping a soy decaf latte. That makes me feel a little better...

It's a New Day

I heard a story once about a man who smoked. He was addicted. He asked his pastor one day, "How do I give this up? I know it's killing me but I love it."

The pastor said, "How did you start?"

"One day, I just picked up a cigarette and started smoking. It didn't take long for me to love it."

The pastor suggested, "Today, don't start." It's not about stopping. It's about not starting.

Today is a new day. What are you not going to start?

I'm going to eat healthier. I have been working on this for a while so it's not like I'm starting something totally new. I have eliminated soda (which used to be a problem). I'm slowing down on the caffine alot. I used to live on coffee but I'm down to one cup (8 oz.) a day. I have also just stopped buying things that I eat as snacks throughout the day that were helping me to pack on the lbs. like Little Debbies (yummy...) and stuff like that. If I don't buy it, I can't eat it! Well, now I'm going to see how "naturally" I can eat. How much chemical crud can I cut out? How many raw fruits, vegetables and nuts can I eat to fill me up? Can I get back to the Daniel diet? We'll see. I'll log whats good about this plan. I'll also warn about what's hard.

Don't think I believe this is going to be easy. My biggest problem is CHEESE! I love cheese but frankly, it's terrible for you. It's all fat. The fat overrides whatever good qualities it may have. And don't tell me we need fat in our diet. There is plenty of natural fat that is already perfectly balanced in things like avocados and nuts.We'll see how much this logic helps me when I have a craving for my famous macaroni and cheese. Had vegan pizza last night from Papa Murphy's and it was wonderful!

New Years? Really?

As we move into this new year, I feel annoyed with the fact that I can't make my usual New Years resolutions. Last year, I resolved to walk at least 3 times a week and did until pregnancy stopped me literally in my tracks. Now, I'm pregnant and the only New Years resolutions I can make should have nothing to do with weight as that will not even be feasible until I have this baby and heal.

It doesn't even feel like a new year. It just feels like a continuation of everything. It's all starting to run together. Is that normal for my age? Or maybe its because we are teachers and May is the real end of the year, then there is a break, then we get a new beginning in August.

Ok, so what can I resolve about this year? I want to be less judgmental. I want to have better relationships and have my mouth sewn shut. Those sound good.

Hope everyone had a great New Years. I drank fake bubbly and waited until midnight in my bathrobe and fuzzy socks at home with my husband who cares about me no matter what I look like. What more could a girl want?